Spooky Perimenopause

All tricks, no treats

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How do you help a perimenopausal gourd? With a pumpkin patch. ~ Shelby

It’s that time again—Halloween. It's the day to put out the candy (preferably not on the floor heating register) and welcome the neighborhood kiddos to your home. Get ready to get up off the couch 50 times to feed those monsters some sweets.

I feel fortunate that Halloween falls on a Thursday this year, which is when I publish my weekly article. Trick-or-treat! Perimenopause can be eerie enough; we don’t need anything else scaring us. I’m here to save you from this bloodcurdling holiday with my trademark perimenopause education and humor.

Weight Gain or Waist Gain

If you feel like you're gaining weight around your waist, you're not imagining it. Good ol’ fluctuating hormones can cause changes in body shape, shifting from a pear shape - where weight is primarily carried in the lower half of the body - to an apple shape, where fat accumulates around the stomach.

Our body works as a system, and when one system is off, it has a ripple effect. As estrogen spikes and crashes during perimenopause, it can raise cortisol levels, which increases our risk of developing abdominal fat.

But this change is not all perimenopause-related. Aging causes our metabolisms to slow down, which means we need about 250-300¹ fewer calories a day, especially if we’ve developed a sedentary lifestyle.

With our increased risk of belly fat and slower metabolisms, eating all….of….the….candy is no longer an option for us, so we have to pick and choose which ones to indulge in. Why not use your most bothersome perimenopause symptoms as a guide?

If discussing food, particularly Halloween candy, feels sensitive for you, you might prefer to explore another article on my website that resonates better with you. You can find them all listed here by topic.

The Periprofessional’s Guide to Halloween Candy

I’m here to help you decide which Halloween candy will be the most satisfying based on what perimenopause symptoms are annoying you the most. Whether you’re dealing with mood swings, hot flashes, or itchy ears, my Halloween candy guide will help you make the best-educated decision for yourself.

Hot Flashes?

York Peppermint Pattie

The invigorating, chilly burst of flavor from a York Peppermint Pattie will cool off any hot flash in a matter of moments. The velvety dark chocolate, with its flavonoids and antioxidants, will settle any rising hot flash anxiety. The textured ridges of the individually wrapped packages can be used to scrap sweat from your cauldron simmering-like brow.

Weight Gain?

M&M’s

Worried about your figure? Instead of eating them, M&M’s are the perfect treat to hold in your hand where they won’t melt. You can just look at all of the pretty colors instead of enjoying the dazzling deliciousness of these chocolate candy-covered drops. Added bonus: You won’t feel guilty about eating big Red.

Burning Mouth Syndrome?

Hot Tamales

To overcome the powerful flavor of Burning Mouth Syndrome, it's necessary to fight fire with fire. If this is your issue, I highly recommend indulging in Hot Tamales. These bold, cinnamon-flavored candies deliver a fiery burst of flavor like a volcano erupting in your mouth. This will transform any mouth discomfort into a thrilling taste experience.

Low Mood?

Skittles

Taste the rainbow! What better way to lift your spirits than eating playfully colored candy? The bright assortment will tantalize your taste buds and hit that sweet spot with a sense of joy and renewed energy. No one knows what the flavors are but it won’t matter when you throw a handful of these colorful gems right into your mouth all at once.

Itchy Ears

Twix

Itchy ears are no match for a Twix bar. Every Twix comes with a left AND right side cookie bar that you can use to dig in there and scratch the Dickens out of each ear. When you’re done, the added wax will enhance the flavor profile of the crunch cookie, caramel, and chocolate. You’ll be telling all of your friends about this treat.

Can’t Get Out of Bed?

Reese’s Take 5

Everyone needs a break. Put this tasteful delight next to your bed before you fall asleep, and in the morning, you can have a pretzelly, caramelly, peanutty, peanut buttery, chocolatey treat. Everyone deserves a well-earned break every now and then, even when first waking up. It’s the perfect way to jumpstart your day with a satisfying and flavorful snack!

All The Symptoms?

100 Grand

Lucky you! You probably feel like you hit the perimenopause lottery, so why not celebrate with candy that will make you feel like a million bucks in 1964 dollars when it first hit shelves. 100 Grand used to be called $100,000 Bar (hundred thousand dollar bar). Its crispy crunchies will explode in your mouth, creating a delightful texture while satisfyingly distracting you from all of your perimenopause symptoms.

I Ain’t Got No Broom, But I Can Be Witchy

I’ll be honest: I have very low spirit for Halloween, but I love answering the door for the little kiddos who trick-or-treat early. They are so cute! I’ll be answering the door in my usual costume - a midlife, perimenopausal woman. Halloween is still magical when they come by until the teenagers arrive and empty my candy bowl in one fell scoop of their man hands.

I don’t know if you feel it, too, but the Halloween tradition is slowly fading away as kids (or maybe rather their parents, who are tired of being the candy police) prefer parties and events over running around neighborhoods in the cold and dark. It’s sad, really. It's another sign of years gone by.

What’s my favorite candy? Take 5. It has everything I love all in one little package of goodness - peanuts, chocolate, pretzels, and caramel. I’m a salt gal, though - I’ll take potato chips over candy any day.

What are your favorite Halloween traditions and has perimenopause affected doing any of them? I loved the collective energy from last week with all of the comments on brain fog. So much fun hearing from you and having conversations!

That’s it for this week. Thanks for reading and spending time with me and my words.

Be well, stay cool….

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1. This information came from Annina Burns, PhD from the NIH Office of Research on Women’s Health, during her presentation on weight gain at The Menopause Society Annual Meeting in September 2024. Her abstract is called Beyond the Scale: The Importance of Food and Nutrition for the Menopausal Transition.