Pausing Perimenopause Though Holidays

I wish!

Perimenopause is a lot.

Holidays are a lot.

Perimenopause + holidays = a tsunami of a-lot-ness

Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could flip a switch and turn off our perimenopause symptoms for the holidays? I’d love that.

Even before perimenopause, I didn’t have much energy for the holidays, if I’m honest with ya. I was already running around being busy, and I felt like the holidays just added a whole bunch of “to-dos” to my already long list.

I wasn’t exactly a Grinch, but I was close to it. I started to feel resentful when the kids started growing up and could officially help but didn’t.

There was a day when I….just….couldn’t….do….it….all….anymore. I needed help. I needed help with decorating, cooking, shopping, wrapping gifts, holiday cards, packing to visit family, and getting ready for parties (mind you, at other people’s houses).

I didn’t want to be resentful through the holidays, so I smartened up and came up with creative solutions to managing perimenopause during the holidays managing the holidays through perimenopause. Read on, and I’ll share them with you.

The Periprofessional’s Holiday Solution Git’ er’ Done Guide

Step 1 - Help Wanted: The first thing I did was to tell my family, “There’s a new sheriff in town.” This set the stagecoach that some changes were coming.

Step 2 - Delegate: I practice delegating and assigning tasks to family members. Everyone gets assigned something. For Thanksgiving, I put the food on the table, and the family cleans up together instead of me doing it alone. I follow the “You ate it, you clean it” rule.

Step 3 - Say No, No Shame: I say “No, thank you.” more often. I can’t be in multiple places at once and run from one event to another, so I’m more honest with myself about what I can and can’t do.

Step 4 - Carve Out Time: I knew I wasn’t going to slow down on the tasks I absolutely needed to complete during the holidays. Therefore, I had to find a different solution that lets me get my stuff done. Now, I take more frequent breaks and time to myself.

Step 5 - Change Up Traditions: Don’t feel like cooking this year, no biggie. Going out is now a more popular option with so many more restaurants open. Supermarkets have catering options for the holidays that allow you to heat the whole meal at home.

Step 6 - Relax Standards: Make things more relaxed. We have a “rule” in our house on Thanksgiving that everyone should arrive at the table in their pajamas. It’s normally just us on Thanksgiving, but this year, we’re having two guests, and I told them to come in their PJs, too. Turkey tastes just as good in PJs as it does when you’re all dolled up.

Step 7 - Bring Back The Fun!: I was so focused on getting everything done that I forgot to focus on the spirit of the holiday season. Two big changes in the last several years are:

• My daughter has a Christmas party every year in early December, during which her friends come over to help decorate the tree. This brings the festiveness back into our house.

• My husband loves watching Hallmark Mysteries (you can read about it here and how perimenopause is very similar to a Hallmark Mystery movie), but during the holidays, we switch it up and watch only holiday movies. This helps me remember what the season is all about and makes me feel cozy. Yes, they are cheesy, but when you watch it like a watch party and talk through it, it’s very fun. My husband is sure to point out all of the fake snow.

Fun fact: My husband and I were background actors in the Hulu holiday movie, Reporting for Christmas, released in 2023. It’s a really cute movie and you can find my name in the credits. Here’s one scene I was in that made it into the trailer. Look at the couple walking away between the actors. It was 16 degrees (-9 celsius) out when we shot this footage and I still needed a change of clothes for hot flashes. My husband and I had great on-screen chemistry 🤣.

Holiday Downers

The holiday season, while often filled with joy and laughter, can also cast a shadow over our celebrations as memories of friends and family members who are no longer with us can surface.

This will be the first holiday season that we don’t have my 87-year-old father-in-law with us to celebrate. I can sum him up in one sentence:

He was the type of man you could talk to about your perimenopause symptoms and he would care how you were feeling.

So be especially kind and gentle to yourself during this time if you’ve lost someone special recently or not so recently. I mean it.¹

Need more resources to get through the holidays?

• I’m one of the “lucky” ones that gets their periods every New Year’s Eve. I always thought that my rushing around during December was what ultimately led me to crash and lose interest by the time Christmas and New Year’s arrived.

  Jess Mujica
  of Go With The Flow: Women’s Cycle Awareness tells me, “Not so fast, sister.” It may actually be because of the hormonal changes going on during the menstrual cycle as I reach my period. Read this fascinating take on how your menstrual cycle may affect your mood and energy through the holidays, Flowing Through The Holidays.

• Another issue that may pop up during this time is our relationship with food.

  Jane Pilger
  , a master-certified binge-eating coach, writes The Peaceful Eater and takes a supportive approach in her podcast episode that discusses this: How Do You Handle Holiday Treats? She shares successful tips and how she manages her eating expectations from her lived experience during this time.

And, finally….

I’m rolling out something FUN for us in December. You’ve never seen anything like this before!

I’m not ready to announce it yet, but if you want to receive an email notification as soon as it’s ready, you can sign up below. I’ll also be announcing it here next week, so this sign-up is just in case you miss the announcement.

What’s this all about? I’ve created a gift with a perimenopause theme that will be ready in December. I’m excited to offer this surprise completely free of charge, with no intention of selling you anything. It’s only for entertainment purposes.

When you sign up to be notified, it's simply to announce that the surprise is available. Your email address will only be used for this purpose and will not be shared or used for any other communications.

Pinky promise.

Be well, stay cool…

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1. Maybe you thought you would get through this article without one of my infamous footnotes; sorry! If you’ve lost someone dear to you recently, I wanted to give you a virtual hug. For me, the most challenging part of grieving a loved one is feeling like the rest of the world is moving on while I’m stuck.