The Yin and Yang of Perimenopause
Whining with Substacker Jess Mujica about menstrual cycles
Offering 1:1 consultations to get your perimenopause questions answered. Customized to your experience, you don’t have to go through this alone! Booking video, audio, text, and email appointments.
In life, there’s a balance point to everything: tired and energized, sad and happy, angry and peaceful.
, the author of Go With The Flow: Women's Cycle Awareness, serves as my balance point - the yin to my yang.While I lean towards a technical mindset, often immersed in logic and analysis, Jess effortlessly adds a sense of grace and expansion to my life. Her friendship transforms the mundane into something beautiful and enjoyable, bringing into my world a poetic flair that balances my analytical nature.
Between my focus on perimenopause and beyond and Jess’s expertise on how we change throughout the month based on where we are in our menstrual cycle, we’ve got the entire female experience covered from puberty on.
Today, you’ll have a chance to get to know Jess while I whine about all things related to the menstrual cycle. Be sure to grab, at the end of the article, the helpful perimenopause period tracker, Predicting Periods Through Perimenopause PDF, using menstrual cycle awareness.
Remember, if you’re reading this in the Substack app, you have the voiceover option to hear it instead. Jess and I will be recording this article at some point, but until then, using the voiceover option provided by Substack is a great option.
Before I introduce Jess, I want to mention that Jess has opened my eyes to the secrets of my menstrual cycle even while in perimenopause (she’s in perimenopause, too!). I know a lot about the mechanics and biology of menstruation and ovulation, but I hadn’t seen its beauty until meeting Jess. She brings it to life and explains it in a way that is easy to understand and allows us to rapidly see its benefits.
Through the menstrual cycle, there are 4 phases every month. In those 4 phases, our bodies respond differently, want different things, and need different things. When we learn these secrets of what our body is trying to tell us, we can harness our feminine strengths as an advantage and not a curse.
The 4 phases align with the characteristics of each of the 4 seasons. When we refer to “Inner” season, we mean the menstrual cycle season we are in, not the actual season.
The 4 phases are:
Inner Winter (Day 1ish - 7ish of our cycle)
Inner Spring (Day 7ish - 13ish of our cycle)
Inner Summer (Days 13ish - 20ish of our cycle)
Inner Fall (Days 21ish - 28ish of our cycle)
Shelby says: Jess, thanks for stopping by The Periprofessional to share your wisdom about what happens during the menstrual cycle, how it affects us, and how we can support ourselves through the month! You write about menstrual cycle awareness in your Substack publication. Can you tell us what menstrual cycle awareness is?
Jess says: Shelby, thank you for inviting me on your platform to discuss all things cycle awareness.
Cycle awareness is the basic understanding that women are cyclic based on our infradian rhythm (the hormonal clock that runs on a 28-ish day cycle). Within that month-long hormone cycle, our energy levels, in all categories, change throughout the month to ride the waves of reproductive hormones like estrogen and progesterone.
When we start tracking our energy levels, we will see a pattern start to emerge:
Physical
Emotional
Mental
Sexual
Social
As we chart these shifting energies, we can understand when it’s “go-time” and when it’s “no-time.”
As the hormone levels shift across the cycle, our bodies are affected, including our:
sleep patterns
mood levels
physical energy
mental abilities and also challenges
sexual peaks and valleys
our reproductive and fertile windows
As well as everything else, like our skin, digestion, brain function, pain thresholds, metabolism, and, you name it, the menstrual cycle is somehow connected to it.
Many scientific studies on health and wellness have solely focused on men. And the findings have been translated to women. We are starting to see that studies on men do not transfer to women because our hormones dictate, wholistically, our well-being. An exercise program to get healthy, fit, and lean that works on a man does not work on a woman. We are not designed to do the same workouts week in and week out the way men do, and if we push ourselves like men, we may actually gain weight or, worse, get injured.
What we eat matters, and what our bodies need for healthy ovulation and menstruation is specific to our phases. Men don’t have this kind of cycle of hormones that vary like we do. They are controlled by the circadian rhythm only (the 24-hour sun clock). What men experience in 24 hours, women experience over 28-ish days, and we also have the circadian rhythm to guide our sleep/wake cycles.
Shelby says: This is way cooler than what I learned in middle school health. So we have two rhythms: the infradian rhythm over 28-ish days and the circadian rhythm over 24 hours. What got you interested in this? This isn’t common knowledge.
Jess says: Ha! Right?! As synchronicity would have it, right after I turned 40, I saw a Ted Talk. Lucy Peach was the speaker from Australia. She travels, educating men, women, and adolescents on the phases of the menstrual cycle. In 10 minutes time, my knowledge of the menstrual cycle changed forever.
No, unfortunately. This is not common knowledge here in the States or in places like India. But there is a growing number of those who are cycle-aware. It seems more well-known in Australia and the U.K. This is where several of the books on this topic have come from. However, it is starting to gain traction here in the States. In fact, the US Women’s National Soccer team trains their players using cycle syncing training, which is essentially cycle awareness and shifting workouts and training based on the phases. This was their claim to winning the 2019 World Cup through cycle syncing.
Shelby says: So, if I understand correctly, as our hormones change through the month to support our reproduction and our bodies, the ratios of hormones at different times of the month can affect our thoughts, behaviors, voice, sleep, and energy levels.
Wait, that sounds like EVERYTHING!? Why do you think we don’t learn about this growing up?
Jess says: I honestly, even after studying this for over 5 years now, do not know this answer. What I do know is that every single woman I have shared this knowledge with responds, “I wish I had known this when I was younger”. Without fail women say this to me all the time. This was also my initial reaction when I came to understand cycle awareness was real. The phases are real and they really do affect me every single week and every single month. I was taught to ignore my cycle and just deal with it. Never did I hear from anyone that you could actually harness it and even learn to love your period!
The earliest book I found was from the 1990s on this subject, and I’m sure many women and doctors thought it was “woo woo” back then. It was written by an author from the U.K. in the 90s. There was a movement happening in this education of the phases of the cycle, but not a lot of research to back it up.
This is what I love to do: find the research that backs up what is already written in our DNA. We intrinsically know this about ourselves once we hear it and start to track the writing on the wall, as they say. But honestly, for those who still don’t believe it, the science is slow to catch up, but it will.
Shelby says: If you want to learn more about how your voice changes through the cycle, read Jess’s article about voice through the menstrual cycle. To learn how voice changes in perimenopause, read my article Let’s Talk About It.
Ok, now I need to jump in and understand this better because had I known this when I was having regular periods, I could have harnessed the power of this instead of it controlling me, right?
Jess says: Absolutely. Honestly, I think you can harness this all the way up until menopause. I think going into perimenopause with this understanding (as I did) is crucial. What better way to “go out” than with the full knowledge of what your body is capable of?
I came into this understanding when I was 40. By tracking my cycle energies and making huge boundary shifts to guard myself in the final days before my period arrived and then giving myself the space and time to rest during my period, I began to heal. There were a few modalities and supplement changes that I made, and by honoring my period with rest and learning to say “no” and by getting my progesterone levels up (they naturally fall after 40), I began to heal from endometriosis that I had my entire adult life. Actually, I believe it started when I was a teen.
Shelby says: It’s helpful to know all of this, but how the heck am I supposed to make this practical? I’ve got a busy life and things to do. I can’t just NOT do things. How do I honor my body and my busyness? Let’s use an example of a freakin’ busy day where I’m supposed to give a presentation, but I just started my period (doesn’t always happen on important days?) What should I do on these days?
Jess says: I totally understand this thinking. I thought this way, too, when I learned about finding ways to create boundaries and space to bleed.
Yes, the period loves to announce itself whenever something important is going on. I totally agree. This is where the practice gets real.
I will say that changing how we feel about our cycle doesn’t happen overnight, or just because we know what we now know. The practice happens in every phase.
So, let’s use your example. But also, let’s back up to the beginning of the month that comes before that bleed.
Let’s say we have started practicing in our Inner Spring phase (late follicular phase Days 7-13). This is the best time in the cycle to start something new, so why not start paying attention to the cycle in this phase and planning for it! Okay, so in the Inner Spring phase we knew we would have a presentation, so we begin to make lists of everything we need to do for this presentation. Everything! And then we use that list to line it up with our natural cycle abilities. ooh, this is fun, let’s get deeper with specifics, shall we? I break it down into seasons, so here we go.
Inner Spring - (Days 7ish - 13ish)
Write the presentation outline. Inner Spring is all about idea generating and list making. So we brainstorm and research to back up our presentation, and we start assembling all the parts to put this presentation together.
Inner Summer - (Days 13ish - 20ish)
We can use our natural collaborative abilities to get others’ opinions involved. So we send it out to someone to put eyes on it for us, and we tell them it’s still in its rough draft. We accept feedback, and we can express ourselves in a way that is our truest self at this time of the cycle.
Inner Fall - (Days 21ish - 28ish)
We fight the inner critic, but we can harness our natural ability to critique. This is where expression meets editing. So, we hone in on what we really want to say in our presentation. This is a naturally creative time as well, and we can get lost in Canva or other graphic and editing tools to really put the polish on our piece. Also, this is the time to play in our closet and find the right attire for the presentation.
Inner Late Fall - (Days 25ish - 28ish)
This has its own unique timing. You know when this time hits because all of a sudden, you second-guess yourself, and you want to throw the whole thing in the trash. Once this happens, step away and let it all go. You are done. That’s your cue. It’s time to rest and rest as hard as you possibly can. Say no to everything that you can leading up to your big day. If you still have a lot going on, be sure to pamper yourself with everything you have. This means getting an Epsom salt soak, taking a fresh air walk, yoga stretching before bed, eye mask to make it completely dark, a cat nap in your car at lunchtime, your favorite dark chocolate after every dinner, and getting out the tears with a sappy drama series you love. Brew up some herbal tea to go and let everything, I mean everything else, go. Say no to that last-minute concert, meet up at that loud restaurant, and schedule a ride for your kid to attend that sports practice. Get take out and just veg.
Okay, I think I hammered that one home.
Inner Winter - (Day 1 - Day 7ish) Okay, the big day comes and so does Day 1. Now what? Well, because you have been resting in only the way you can, you have given yourself a little boost of energy you wouldn’t have otherwise had. This is how the US Women’s Soccer teams gets it done! You dig deep; you give it everything you have just for that time. You take your ibuprofen and you wear your diva cup plus a pad to be safe, you hydrate like a soccer player and you protein shake it up baby. You’ve prepped for this all month, and then it’s go time. After you give it everything you have, you immediately go back to resting. You thank “past you” for asking to leave work early. Or maybe you didn’t, and now you have to go back to the dreaded computer. This is when you drop the ball. Okay? Seriously. Drop the ball. It’s fine. The world goes on, and you don’t get fired.
Shelby says: I can give a real-life example. When I was a junior in high school, I tried out for the hockey cheerleading team with my best friend. I missed the first two days of practice because of a family trip, so I had to catch up when I returned. I crammed 5 days of cheerleading prep into 3 days. On the morning of cheerleading tryouts, I got my period. This put me in an awful mood – even at this age, I already had the experience of my period screwing up anything important.
No one wants a moody cheerleader at tryouts. I did my best, I really did, but it’s hard to jump around when you can feel the blood dripping out of you. I didn’t make the team. I came home and cried my little teenage eyes out about it. Then, I spontaneously decided to quit ballet, something I truly loved and had done for 13 years, because I felt I wasn’t good enough at anything.
How could I have handled this differently using the knowledge of menstrual cycle awareness?
Jess says: Similarly to the previous rant I made, you would instead of cramming 5 days into 3 days, just 3 days would suffice. You would then remind yourself to replenish and rest after each practice. Thankfully, period products have come a long way from when we were in high school, right? For Day 1, I’m all about using the Flex disc. And now there is period underwear too!
Again, use the power of rest at every chance, along with hydration and eating more carbs before Day 1, plus cramp bark tincture for the win! Quicker and more effective than ibuprofen.
Now, if you still didn’t make the team (that’s life, right?) and you still may have really felt like quitting ballet, but cycle wisdom tells us to wait and put it through each phase first to see if it is your true value.
When a big big decision pops up, I call it bleeding on it. Like I said, first take this idea of leaving something through each phase, and if by the next bleed you still really feel the same way, this is when real deep change comes.
I took this practice of making major decisions through my cycle when I was trying to decide whether to pull my kid out of public school to homeschool. When in the midst of my Inner Winter bleed I decided that I was going to do it, it was profound and I didn’t second guess.
Because our hormones are at their lowest, we are also the most grounded in mid-inner Winter. We have a heightened intuition and knowing.
Shelby says: How do you logistically track all of this? You know exactly what day you are on and what to expect each day. How long did it take you to start seeing trends?
Jess says: I keep a journal. I put a heading on it that has what day I am on and the date. I note what I did that day and any big feelings, wins and challenges. I quickly list my energy levels, physical, mental, emotional, social, and sexual, on a scale of 1-5.
After 1 month, I knew that I wasn’t the same every day (something I had tried time and again to convince myself of), and I knew that I could begin to continue to track.
After 3 months, I had a track record. On any given day where, I thought, now what season am I in, and what does this day’s theme look like? I could then flip back to a specific day, like day 21, and see that I was anxious and decided to take time for myself after I freaked out. The next month, I decided to take that day for myself and see if I could avoid a freak out, and I look back and, huh, you know what? That worked! So I then decide that I want to continue to give myself alone time somewhere around Day 21 when my body and mind really need to pull it in and start to honor my Inner Fall phase by going somewhere alone, even if for 1 hour.
After 1 year, I started to see more patterns and more clearly who I am and what I need. I see where one month of extra stress may affect the next month’s seasons, and I learned to go with it and give grace instead of fighting against myself or thinking I should be or do more than my body will allow.
Shelby says: I’m constantly moving, doing 1,000 things at once, and running high on anxious energy. This was one reason why my body hit a wall when I reached perimenopause. I’ve since had to learn to give my body periods of rest and not always to push so hard. How can I get over the frustration of not being able to do what I want when I want because of my stupid physical limitations? I think I’d be better off as a robot.
Jess says: I totally get it. I think the biggest shift for me in this is to ask a different question. Instead of asking myself, “What do I want?” I ask myself, “What do I need?” This has been pivotal.
For a while, when I shifted to this new way of thinking, these Rolling Stones song lyrics kept playing in my head… “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need…”
I think this is part of the emotional maturity that we are called to in perimenopause. Before peri, we just did whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. Go out for drinks with friends and stay out and get up at 6 am and go to work? No problem. And that shift of go get it, outward energy, all of a sudden makes a hard left turn, and we are called to go inward, called to stay in, go to bed early, one glass of wine at 5 pm, and that’s it. If we don’t know this shift is coming - something our bodies are dishing to us every month when we shift from Inner Summer (ovulation) to Inner Fall (luteal), then we will be shocked when it comes, and we run right into the wall and crash.
The best we can do is learn all there is to know about the Inner Fall phase of our cycle and know that it is actually an overriding theme of a life phase. There are beautiful natural abilities in Inner Fall as well as challenges to overcome that prepare us for the next life phase of Inner Winter and rebirth when the cycle no longer binds us, and we are free of the hormonal clock.
Shelby says: How can I shift my mindset and see the beauty in all of this instead of just the complaints?
Jess says: Study the seasons. Understand their unique value, and I think as you practice, you may start to see the beauty that is there. I am so thankful that I found out about cycle awareness at age 40, as that was the year of boundaries for me. I had to really struggle to find the word “no” first to myself and then to others.
As I saw the amazing qualities of Inner Spring energy with its tender youth and fleeting energy, I really harnessed it and planned fun projects for myself during those times. I made massive changes in the Inner Spring phases. I remembered what I loved about being a young teen, and I brought back some of my youth that I loved, like rollerskating, singing, writing and reading, taking myself out to lunch to journal and observe people, finding new hiking trails, etc. In perimenopause, Inner Spring can be quick, so I try to seize the moments when they come.
Inner Fall phase (days 21-29ish) used to be my hardest days. I didn’t like the abrupt change my body made. Just when I was having fun, now I have to go inside. That’s how it felt. But when I turned my attention, yeah, but what’s inside? A curiosity showed up, and it was something new to explore that I used to loathe. Now, especially as I am getting older and finding more time to myself, I am really exploring what I love about myself, and also taking my nurturing abilities from Inner Summer and bringing that inside myself, focusing on my own needs and tending to me. At first, it felt selfish, and now it feels like I’m coming home to myself.
Shelby says: Being in later middle perimenopause {for perimenopause phases, read The Musical Dynamics of Perimenopause} I have no idea where I am in my cycle now. I don’t even know when I get a period because I’ve been dealing with irregular spotting, and when my period arrives, it’s basically just spotting these days anyway. I’ve been using when “family rage” {Read Your Perimenopause Alter Ego} shows up as a marker for whether something is just spotting or a full-blown PMS period. How can I use menstrual cycle awareness even when I don’t know where I’m at in my cycle?
Jess says: Tracking. Just begin tracking until you get the aha moment of knowing where your energies line up with the phases or seasons. I have several articles that lay out the natural abilities and challenges of each inner season, and you can use them for reference to find where you most jive and start there.
If you are no longer bleeding but are still ovulating, you can use tracking apps, and the most accurate way is by checking basal body temperature (BBT). It will be lower in the first half, and then it will rise 1 to 2 degrees in the second half. This can also tell you if you haven’t ovulated. I think there is a ring called Aura or something that you wear on your finger, and it will track your BBT for you.
Another way to know is to check your cervix for firmness and positioning. The cervix changes, softens, tightens, and moves up in the vagina at times and then lowers at times. Learning your own positioning and firmness can also clue you in to where you are or if you are about to start your cycle.
Shelby says: Oh, right! I learned all of this while trying to conceive. You just went through the weather disaster of a lifetime of Hurricane Helene. How did you use your knowledge of menstrual cycle awareness to help you through the devastation and the disruption to your life?
Jess says: Deep breath. Whew, this is a big one for sure. I was in the Inner Summer ovulation phase when Hurricane Helene ripped through Western North Carolina (WNC). Like many who have lived here most of their lives, I never saw it coming. Which is to say a lot because I am my family’s weather girl.
WNC has never had a legit hurricane here. We have had tropical storms that cause minor to moderate flooding but never like a direct hit. But as you may know, this time was different.
A storm before the storm came through, causing flooding. That storm, basically, with its low pressure, sucked Hurricane Helene right to it, changing its direction and amplifying Hurricane Helene.
The river below my house a little less than 1 mile rose 30 feet causing buildings built in the 1920’s to just completey lift off of their foundations and wash away leaving only the concrete floor.
It has been over 3 months, and I am still taking afternoons to go out to my favorite hikes or campgrounds and find utter devastation everywhere there is water.
But, to answer your question, I am grateful that I was in my Inner Summer phase when it happened because I was at my peak ability to handle change. It is the most go-with-the-flow time as estrogen and progesterone do their dance together. So, I just went with it. It also helped that I’m a happy camper, and so we have camping gear that we pulled out and turned our house into a glorified camper. Once we knew we were set up at our “home campsite” we could get out and help our community. Helping in crisis is therapeutic. I became the town’s unofficial water department liaison, going to the water meetings and giving water updates via Facebook to the surrounding community. We were able to help with meal prep and distribution. When my Inner Late Fall phase came around, I knew that the pace I was going wasn’t sustainable and I began to only go to the water meetings but stopped food prep. Thankfully, it happened that we had cell service again and wifi at our house when my Inner Winter arrived, and I could stay home. our water finally came back on, and so we had some people coming to do laundry. This meant that I was helping by staying home to keep the laundry going. So, my resting phase worked out seamlessly.
We had also planned our anniversary trip months before, and it landed on my late Inner Winter phase, and we were able to take a break from the aftermath to go to a vacation spot where I pretty much slept the whole time. When we came back, I was in Inner Spring and ready to re-assess. By then, my neighborhood had stabilized, and the grocery stores were accepting debit cards again. Cash only was a nightmare.
Since then, we hosted a Friendsgiving and many neighbors and new friends we met through the storm came. I was in my Inner Spring phase, which gave me energy to host.
I am looking forward to volunteering again as my next Inner Spring wave is on the way and the holidays have settled down. As some folks are getting tired from all the work they have done over these months, I am ready to step back in and help again.
Shelby says: You’ve been on Substack for over a year, and you have the fastest-growing menstrual cycle publication. What are your goals for your Substack? Do you have plans to coach women through their menstrual cycles?
Jess says: I feel I have just scratched the surface with my posts and articles on menstrual cycle awareness. I have many many drafts started and recently introduced my podcast. I want to reach women aged 18-menopause to educate them on the far reaches of their unique abilities through their phases.
I enjoy coaching women in their cycle awareness practice, and I do hope to mentor more women as the need arises. I love to research, and I love to teach what I find. Someone told me that I am a menstrual and perimenopause dula.
This year I chose the word “synchronicity” as my word of the year, so I’ll be looking out for the synchronicities that will take my cycle awareness mentoring to the next level.
Shelby says: Through you, I’ve learned that as women, we’re not meant to remain the same throughout the month; we adapt and adjust. It’s part of our DNA. Believing that we should stay constant is unrealistic and contradicts the essence of being female. Once I embrace this philosophy, I can start using my physiology to benefit me instead of allowing it to become a weapon against me.
Jess, it’s been awesome getting to know you. Thank you so much for all the incredible work you do to educate women about this. I really appreciate your time and I cherish our amazing friendship!
Ah, it’s been my pleasure to get to know you through Substack over these short few months. I am honored to be your guest on your fast-growing perimenopause publication. Big things are coming for this work you are doing. I greatly appreciate your knowledge and expertise in all things perimenopause. We are quite the duo. Synchronicity for sure!
Here’s a free PDF download to track your symptoms using menstrual cycle awareness. I’ve also included some bonus links to Jess’s work so you can learn more!
Whenever I think of Jess, the Stevie Wonder song “Isn’t She Lovely” comes to mind.
Thanks for catching up with us!
If you enjoyed this article and want to learn more, please visit and subscribe to Jess Mujica on her Substack Go With the Flow: Women’s Cycle Awareness. And, while you’re here, leave a 💖 below to let us know you read this.
Be well, stay cool…
Shelby Tutty, MHA
Certified Perimenopause Educator
Founder of The Periprofessional, LLC
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Loved reading this interview! And (embarrassingly) how did I get this far in life and not know about cervical positioning throughout the month? I'm certain we need all the tools we can get to help predict our periods in perimenopause. Cycle tracking for sure, but I'm glad to know there are other ways to check - thank you for enlightening me! 😍
Saving this post!! So informative, thank you!!