5 Reasons Skipping Periods Will Surprise You

Unpacking the emotional luggage of missing periods

Summer means travel. Pack your bags, period, it’s time to take a hike!

So far, I’ve had 42 years worth of periods. That’s probably close to some sort of world record. I’ve also been friends with my longest friend, Tricia, for this same amount of time - coincidence? Hopefully, she doesn’t dump me the minute I turn menopausal. That would be weird.

Just to stick it to her because I know she’s reading - she’s my old friend 😁.

What can I say… I’m loyal.

I started skipping periods around the 39th year of having them. That’s a long time of getting by-the-clock periods every 24 - 28 days except when I was pregnant. I always knew when I was getting them, could always anticipate them, and was the one who diligently circled my calendar like my mother showed me. You can learn more about me and my experience here.

So, when those anticipatory periods stopped showing up regularly, it was odd. Paula’s cousin just ghosted me out of the blue (I’ll save you a trip to the footnotes - “Paula’s cousin” was my teenage code word for periods with my best friend, the one I mentioned above. This was the 80s, we needed codewords back then).

Waiting on Paula’s cousin was waiting for something to happen that never arrived. It was unsettling, like waiting for a loved one to arrive home from work at a certain time but is late. All of those years spent wishing it away, and now I wanted it back (back then, not now).

I love this quote from Jess Mujica, who writes the Substack publication, Go With The Flow: Women’s Cycle Awareness "Even when we aren’t cycling? Yep, even in the Winter Wise Woman years (after menopause), because we have been cycling for so many years, there is kind of a muscle memory in our bodies for it."

Jess has a beautiful way of explaining the menstrual cycle as not only natural but also as a part of nature.

Additionally, what can happen in perimenopause is that you get all of the symptoms, but still nothing shows up. I call these “Phantom Periods.” It feels like it’s about to start any minute, but no blood arrives. It may relate to the muscle memory that Jess speaks of, or there is some hormonal component that causes PMS but isn’t enough to trigger the shedding of your uterine lining.

Top 5 Reasons Skipping Periods Will Surprise You … the 5th one will shock you!

Here are the top 5 reasons that skipping periods will surprise you—and of course, the 5th one will shock you!

1. Once you reach menopause, you can wear white pants without fear of the dreaded period accident!

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve had to wear a pad every day this year because I have no idea when my period is going to come, and I don’t want any surprises. I’ll be honest, this sucks. I don’t want to have to deal with this anymore. I haven’t worn white pants in years. So what if I think they make me look fat, I want the freedom to be able to wear white pants.

2. Pad savings

I’ve probably spent ~$10,000 on menstrual products over the 42 years of my period lifecycle. There’s really no way to figure this out, so this is my best guess. I can think of 10,000 things I’d rather spend my money on than pads. It’s possible I could live another 42 years but this time without having to buy another pad ever again. I think that’s a fair exchange.

Las Vegas, here I come!

3. No excuse for ugly underwear. It’s just ugly.

The arrival of every period meant I would pull out my period underwear, to which my husband would say, “What period are those from? The Great Depression?”

These were the ugliest broken-down pairs of underwear you had ever seen. I’m sure you have a few pairs of them too.

Now that I’ve spent the past year spotting, they are all period underwear. They are all ugly. I’m waiting to reach menopause before I spend any money on new underwear. I can’t wait to throw these out!

My mother would be appalled at the state of my underwear collection.

If you’ve held on to period underwear way past menopause, I hereby give you permission to throw them out and get some new pairs.

4. You miss that cleaned-out feeling

My stomach always felt the flattest the day after my period showed up. And, when it stopped I felt lighter, refreshed, and had more energy. There’s something to be said for the seasons of a menstrual cycle. Now, I just feel blah all month long.

5. How easy it is to jump to the conclusion you’re pregnant even if you haven’t had sex.

Prior to reaching perimenopause, if we skipped a period, our minds would race to wonder if we were pregnant. Well, the same thing happens in perimenopause. Sometimes, it’s the first indication when women realize that something is going on, especially when they take a pregnancy test and it comes back negative.

In our busy lives, it’s hard to keep track of whether we’ve had sex recently or not sometimes, so of course, if we skip a period we weren’t expecting to, we’re going to jump to the pregnancy conclusion.

I’m 54, so the likelihood of me getting pregnant at my age is slim but possible. The oldest verified mother to conceive without medical intervention was 59!¹ At my last ultrasound, my GYN told me that my uterus looked like it was “preparing for a baby.” When you’re waiting to reap the benefits of menopause for as long as I have, that was not what I wanted to hear. I disagreed with my uterus’ plans. Talk about a mind of its own!

My husband dabbled in stand-up comedy many years ago, and in his comedy routine, he told the audience that he wasn’t ready to be a dad, so we used 3 forms of birth control - the pill, a condom, and abstinence.

What Does a Skipped Period Mean in Perimenopause?

A skipped period means that you didn’t ovulate that cycle. I’ve written articles here and here about it so I won’t rehash it. Briefly, perimenopause is the process of the ovaries shutting down. During this process, sometimes we ovulate and sometimes we don’t.

In medical terms, a skipped period is officially skipped when there is a space of 60 days or more between periods and is a sign that you’re getting deep in perimenopause.²

When you think about the phases of perimenopause, skipping periods usually happens in the middle and later phases. When perimenopause starts, you’re more likely to get your periods closer together. Of course, everyone is different, but generally, this is what you can expect.

It may also mean that you’re pregnant. Pregnancy is still possible until you reach menopause at 365 days without a period or seeing blood.

It may also mean that you’re stressed. As you’ll learn in perimenopause, if you haven’t already, stress affects your hormones. Think about a time you were stressed - what happened to your period? Was it late?

If you have any concerns about skipping periods, please reach out to your physician or healthcare provider, especially if you think you may be pregnant.

So Long, Sucker!

Like many women, skipping periods was my first confirmation that I was heading towards menopause. Up until then, I just thought I was having some weird health issues (years ago, there was even less information about perimenopause than there is now). This awareness also came with a heavy realization that I was aging. I’m tearing up just writing this.

Up until this point, I did a very good job pretending I was still 25 and young forever. I had to come to terms with reality, and this was no easy task then or now. What has helped me is to look towards the older population of women I know who are still doing what they love, taking care of themselves, and saying they are living their best lives.

I’ve been carrying around the burden of periods for a long time. Yes, they have been a beautiful part of my life and still are as I write this - I’m not period bashing - but they are also inconvenient, make me feel not my best, and control me more than I ever realized. After 42 years of periods and perimenopause peculiarity, I’m just done. cooked. finito.

My period track record has been stellar, but I’m ready to pack these things up finally and send them on their merry way.

So please, Paula’s cousin, shut the door on your way out, and don’t forget your bags.

Be well, stay cool…

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1. Wikipedia - The oldest verified mothers

2. Mount Sinai Menopause Information - Note: I don’t love this resource for its lifestyle recommendations and basic perimenopause info (i.e. It’s incorrect to say that lubrication treats vaginal dryness, lubrication is an aid during intercourse), but it has a lot of medical information that you would have to dig through multiple websites to get the same info.