That thread that inspired this article of yours made me laugh! Like, WHAT?! That's ridiculous! As you stated, there are SO many different factors that affect our peri/menopause experience that have nothing to do with "doing th work" (what shallow, uncritical BS!). 🙄
It's nuts what people will say. I think she was trying to promote a dependency on her coaching program by taking advantage of unsuspecting women. It would take a lifetime and more to do all of the work. Thanks for supporting my work, Caitlin! You are a breath of fresh air in a crazy world.
Thank you for calling out the BS Shelby. It makes me very sad and angry when women make blanket statements like this. Because you are 100% right, my perimenopause is not your perimenopause because my life is not your life.
At 41 I was doing ALL the things. After noticing changes in my body that I now can say were early perimenopause symptoms, weight gain, digestion issues, lack of motivation, poor sleep, I went to a functional medicine nutritionist and got ALL the labs run, changed my diet, my exercise routine, worked on my mindset, read ALL the books, you name it I was on it!
And then life happened. My mother-in-law who I was a caretaker for got sick, my mother got sick, and my dog got sick. And my body literally said, 'we're out of our reserves honey, sorry, you have to handle all this on your own'. Stress had taken over and run through all my hormones.
After being gaslit by multiple doctors I ultimately found out I had been harboring Lyme Disease, plus co-infections and my hormones had literally left the building. (I know it's hard to test hormones at this time of life, but when multiple tests show post-menopausal levels and you're feeling off, I think it's safe to assume that's the thing!)
I know I was dealing with many things, but I knew something was definitely wrong. My brain felt like it had been turned off. And it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced.
So when I hear a lot of women and even doctors say just eat your protein, take some Ashwagandha, meditate and journal, I know they have no idea what it feels like to have no feeling in your brain, to have lost all your life-line hormones, to have debilitating anxiety, dread, depression like you never knew existed, because if they did, they would never make a blanket statement like that.
So, if anything, I have learned from this it's to have more compassion for people going through things that you have never experienced because I have no idea what you're dealing with and I'm not going to begin to paint a wide brush over what you should do about it.
I would also like to just say thank you for the information about the early onset of perimenopause. At 41 I was pretty shocked to realize this was happening to me, but I did get my period at 11 and I have no children, so I'm on the fast track lol!
Thanks again Shelby, I truly appreciate your point of view on this because perimenopause and menopause have become so the 'thing' right now which is AWESOME, but there is definitely a lot of BS out there!
Thank you again Shelby. I have learned so much from being my own health advocate and putting in the work to do the “research” when doctors were failing me. I had a journal from when this all started too and I actually threw it out it was too painful to read again.
And I so appreciate you going past the “happy horseshit” to a more understanding perspective. Ultimately, I feel that is what will resonate with more women. Being real.
I am doing better and I truly hope you are too. I still have days where I struggle with the shame of why this was how I landed in this time of life and if I only did life some other way it would have been better. I know that’s a lie. I’ve loved my life. I wouldn’t change anything. And you can’t control the aging process, yours or the ones you love. And you’re human and your nervous system can only do so much before it’s literally running on empty and asks you to please help it reset and stop fighting and resisting it. It’s SO hard to do when you’ve been trudging along doing ALL the freaking things ALL the freaking time and then you can’t even make a grocery list because it’s too overwhelming! (And then when you finally do you forget all the shit you really need lol)
Saying you can relate brings tears to my eyes because like you said, I’ve had to claw my way out of this and I would never wish this experience on anyone. It’s very hard to put into words too, so thank you for saying I stated the issue well. You did a great job too, but when it brings up the struggle it’s just hard to relive it.
You can link my comment, that’s totally fine! Thank you.
I’ve been trying to put my experience into writing because I want it to help others that are going through what I’ve experienced. Don’t know what I’ll do with it when I do, I’m coming up on a year of this all starting for me and I think I just want to release it all. If I ever do I’d be happy to share it with you!
Thanks, Kat! I'll do so on Monday. If you're a year out, you're doing great. Look at how much you understand now and have learned how to support yourself after the crash. Repairing your nervous system takes a long time. One day I'll share my story here. I have journals from those days, but I'm not yet ready to review them. Still too fresh but I've mentioned things here and there.
This is the place and perspective I come from in helping clients. Not the happy horseshit health hacks of influencers and wellness industry. Those were all the start of my downfalls. I'm much more purposeful and meaningful in what I choose to do now and I'm much better off because of it.
If you end up writing about this (of course I'd love to read it) it will be so impactful for anyone to understand the variety and severity of how this shows up. You don't know or understand until you do and you are the right person to shed light on this for others.
Oh Kat - I can 110% relate to what you're saying! Doing all the things only to have life collapse around you and wipe you out. Your story is so familiar to me as I went through something similar and my nervous system just collapsed under the weight of everything. I had to claw my way out. I wouldn't have wished that on anyone.
That's one of the reasons why that comment was so thoughtless. Just do the things. Yeah, right. Lucky for her she's never had to go through something like that because it's life-changing and makes a person see things with new eyes. Like you said, compassion being one of them.
I think you stated the issue better than I did. I really struggled with writing this article trying to get my point across because it brought up so much of what I had gone through and I didn't know how it was going to land or if I was sounding too "on my soapbox". If you don't mind, I'd like to add a new sentence to the bottom of the article that directs readers to your comment. Let me know if this is okay or not.
I hope you're doing better now. I appreciate you sharing your story "as is" and being open. It's important for all of us to understand.
Lovely to hear your voice!
Thanks, Sheila! I'm a little self-conscious about it, but I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone. I appreciate that!
That thread that inspired this article of yours made me laugh! Like, WHAT?! That's ridiculous! As you stated, there are SO many different factors that affect our peri/menopause experience that have nothing to do with "doing th work" (what shallow, uncritical BS!). 🙄
It's nuts what people will say. I think she was trying to promote a dependency on her coaching program by taking advantage of unsuspecting women. It would take a lifetime and more to do all of the work. Thanks for supporting my work, Caitlin! You are a breath of fresh air in a crazy world.
right back atcha, Shelby! :)
Thank you for calling out the BS Shelby. It makes me very sad and angry when women make blanket statements like this. Because you are 100% right, my perimenopause is not your perimenopause because my life is not your life.
At 41 I was doing ALL the things. After noticing changes in my body that I now can say were early perimenopause symptoms, weight gain, digestion issues, lack of motivation, poor sleep, I went to a functional medicine nutritionist and got ALL the labs run, changed my diet, my exercise routine, worked on my mindset, read ALL the books, you name it I was on it!
And then life happened. My mother-in-law who I was a caretaker for got sick, my mother got sick, and my dog got sick. And my body literally said, 'we're out of our reserves honey, sorry, you have to handle all this on your own'. Stress had taken over and run through all my hormones.
After being gaslit by multiple doctors I ultimately found out I had been harboring Lyme Disease, plus co-infections and my hormones had literally left the building. (I know it's hard to test hormones at this time of life, but when multiple tests show post-menopausal levels and you're feeling off, I think it's safe to assume that's the thing!)
I know I was dealing with many things, but I knew something was definitely wrong. My brain felt like it had been turned off. And it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced.
So when I hear a lot of women and even doctors say just eat your protein, take some Ashwagandha, meditate and journal, I know they have no idea what it feels like to have no feeling in your brain, to have lost all your life-line hormones, to have debilitating anxiety, dread, depression like you never knew existed, because if they did, they would never make a blanket statement like that.
So, if anything, I have learned from this it's to have more compassion for people going through things that you have never experienced because I have no idea what you're dealing with and I'm not going to begin to paint a wide brush over what you should do about it.
I would also like to just say thank you for the information about the early onset of perimenopause. At 41 I was pretty shocked to realize this was happening to me, but I did get my period at 11 and I have no children, so I'm on the fast track lol!
Thanks again Shelby, I truly appreciate your point of view on this because perimenopause and menopause have become so the 'thing' right now which is AWESOME, but there is definitely a lot of BS out there!
Thank you again Shelby. I have learned so much from being my own health advocate and putting in the work to do the “research” when doctors were failing me. I had a journal from when this all started too and I actually threw it out it was too painful to read again.
And I so appreciate you going past the “happy horseshit” to a more understanding perspective. Ultimately, I feel that is what will resonate with more women. Being real.
I’ll share my story one day, thank you 💗
Thank you Shelby. 💗
I am doing better and I truly hope you are too. I still have days where I struggle with the shame of why this was how I landed in this time of life and if I only did life some other way it would have been better. I know that’s a lie. I’ve loved my life. I wouldn’t change anything. And you can’t control the aging process, yours or the ones you love. And you’re human and your nervous system can only do so much before it’s literally running on empty and asks you to please help it reset and stop fighting and resisting it. It’s SO hard to do when you’ve been trudging along doing ALL the freaking things ALL the freaking time and then you can’t even make a grocery list because it’s too overwhelming! (And then when you finally do you forget all the shit you really need lol)
Saying you can relate brings tears to my eyes because like you said, I’ve had to claw my way out of this and I would never wish this experience on anyone. It’s very hard to put into words too, so thank you for saying I stated the issue well. You did a great job too, but when it brings up the struggle it’s just hard to relive it.
You can link my comment, that’s totally fine! Thank you.
I’ve been trying to put my experience into writing because I want it to help others that are going through what I’ve experienced. Don’t know what I’ll do with it when I do, I’m coming up on a year of this all starting for me and I think I just want to release it all. If I ever do I’d be happy to share it with you!
I posted direction of your comment below in the main portion of the article. Thanks, again!
You’re welcome 💓
Thanks, Kat! I'll do so on Monday. If you're a year out, you're doing great. Look at how much you understand now and have learned how to support yourself after the crash. Repairing your nervous system takes a long time. One day I'll share my story here. I have journals from those days, but I'm not yet ready to review them. Still too fresh but I've mentioned things here and there.
This is the place and perspective I come from in helping clients. Not the happy horseshit health hacks of influencers and wellness industry. Those were all the start of my downfalls. I'm much more purposeful and meaningful in what I choose to do now and I'm much better off because of it.
If you end up writing about this (of course I'd love to read it) it will be so impactful for anyone to understand the variety and severity of how this shows up. You don't know or understand until you do and you are the right person to shed light on this for others.
Oh Kat - I can 110% relate to what you're saying! Doing all the things only to have life collapse around you and wipe you out. Your story is so familiar to me as I went through something similar and my nervous system just collapsed under the weight of everything. I had to claw my way out. I wouldn't have wished that on anyone.
That's one of the reasons why that comment was so thoughtless. Just do the things. Yeah, right. Lucky for her she's never had to go through something like that because it's life-changing and makes a person see things with new eyes. Like you said, compassion being one of them.
I think you stated the issue better than I did. I really struggled with writing this article trying to get my point across because it brought up so much of what I had gone through and I didn't know how it was going to land or if I was sounding too "on my soapbox". If you don't mind, I'd like to add a new sentence to the bottom of the article that directs readers to your comment. Let me know if this is okay or not.
I hope you're doing better now. I appreciate you sharing your story "as is" and being open. It's important for all of us to understand.