Grumpy Before Christmas: Hot Flash Love
The Periprofessional presents...
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Getting through the holidays while dealing with the challenges of perimenopause can be a lot. I recently posted some of my holiday stories on Instagram Threads (their socially friendly short-form platform, and you don’t need an account if you just want to view what I post).
If you’re struggling this holiday season with perimenopause symptoms and feeling like no one cares. Know that I care. I lived it.
Dec ’20, all joy was gone.
Dec ’21, I had to cancel Xmas because I could barely get out of bed.
Dec ’22, I was a sweaty, hot mess and had to rest frequently.
Dec ’23 was still sweaty, and my emotions got the best of me.
I’m doing mostly better this year, but I won’t soon forget these experiences, and I know how hard it can be.
I spend a lot of time talking about the biology of perimenopause, but I also like to poke fun at perimenopause and take a break from being seriously serious or overly technical. One of the gifts of perimenopause for me was rediscovering my love of writing and being creative.
If you’ve read previous articles, you know that Hallmark movies are frequently watched in my house. We’ve officially shifted from Hallmark mysteries to watching Hallmark holiday movies. I’ve already compared perimenopause to a Hallmark mystery movie in another post.
🎬 In this article, as a fun holiday month treat, I've crafted a plot for a Hallmark-style movie focused on perimenopause. Of course I did!
Working Title: Grumpy Before Christmas: Hot Flash Love
Genre: Cheesy rom-com holiday forensic medical mystery movie
One Line Killer Pitch: Imagine a world where cold temps and warm bodies conquer all
Synopsis: Lily Hampton, a single and successful writer, decides to leave the big city after 20 years. She's fed up with the stresses of a fast-paced life and moves to the small town of Holly Grove to pursue her writing career. Population 2,000.
The average winter temperature is 10 degrees Fahrenheit. She wants to follow every author’s dream of writing the next bestseller while cozying up in a small town and sipping hot cocoa. As she unpacks her boxes, she wonders why she’s so hot. “This darn thermostat must be broken!” She vows to contact her landlord to get it looked at immediately.
After several days of sweating and having to step outside to cool down, the landlord confirms the thermostat works just fine. “Then, there must be something wrong with me,” she thinks and makes an appointment with the town’s family physician.
Meet Cute: After waiting for 30 minutes past her appointment time in the waiting room, Lily is feeling frustrated and is now running late for an important meeting with her editor. She’s spent this time sitting in a room filled with coughing children, and she’s on the verge of losing her shit while feeling ignored.
“This would have never happened in the big city where doctors run on time.” She says out loud to herself.
Lily can feel the rage bubbling up, but finally, the nurse calls her name and takes her back to the exam room for a vitals check. Another 10 minutes go by, when finally she hears a knock on the door, and it opens.
Dr. Troy Mitchell is dashingly handsome and the town’s eligible bachelor physician that all of the moms want to set up their daughters with. Dr. Mitchell has been the town’s physician for 10 years, having moved here after he lost his wife in a horrific car accident when a ham truck overturned, causing a 10-car pile-up. She was killed instantly by a flying ham. And that’s no bologna.
Plot: He starts a conversation with Lily about the charming little town they live in, enthusiastically asking if she’s had the chance to sample the delicious apple pies from Mrs. Tutty’s bakery, which are world-famous for their flaky crusts and rich fillings.
He also brings up the locally renowned apple cider from Big Al’s Cider House, known for its refreshing taste and crispness. Despite his cheerful musings about the town's culinary delights, Lily feels a pressing urgency. She just wants to discuss her serious medical problem, as she’s already running late. She’s unable to focus on this small talk and states her frustration.
“But, Mrs. Tutty’s pies have won the Christmas Pie Cookoff at Holly Grove’s Christmas Gala 3 years in a row. You must try it,” he says in retort.
“Can we stay on topic for why I’m here, please? I don’t know if I’m sick, but I’ve been feeling so hot lately. Could you please just examine me already?” she says.
He pauses and says, “I wonder if it’s Big Al’s cider that makes her pies so good.”
“Really, doctor, is that all you want to talk about? I’m in a rush here. Why am I so hot all of the time? I can’t sleep, and I feel like I’m about to lose my mind! I thought coming here to this quiet little town would help me, not stress me out more, but that’s all it’s done.”
He tilts his head, nods, and says, “Oh, you’re fine; I think you may just be going through the menopause transition.”
“What do you mean JUST menopause? I’m too young! I’m only 46. You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m leaving.” She grabs her coat and storms out of the office.
She hears behind her, “Don’t forget to try Mrs. Tutty’s pie!”
Later that evening, she calls her best friend, Jess, to vent about her experience with that loony tunes doctor.
“Can you believe it? He told me I was starting menopause! Sure, my periods have been all over the place, but that’s just because I’ve been under so much stress.” She pleads with her friend to garner support.
Jess, however, has a one-track mind and only wants to know if the doctor is cute and single. “Ugh,” Lily thinks to herself.
“You know,” Jess says, “ don’t hate me, but maybe it is perimenopause.”
Over the next few weeks, she’s been working hard on her novel and settling into small-town life. She’s met a few of the shop owners who have convinced her to go to the Holly Grove Christmas Gala. They also seem to adore the town’s doctor and make sure to point out that he’s single. She just rolls her eyes.
Several weeks pass, and Lily continues to feel unusually hot and uncomfortable, prompting her to call her landlord multiple times to request a thermostat check. Frustrated with the persistent heat, she starts to question whether her discomfort could be a sign of perimenopause. Curious to learn more, she turns to Google for answers.
During her research, she stumbles upon a website featuring insights from a perimenopause expert known as The Periprofessional. As she reads through a variety of articles, she finds information about the symptoms of perimenopause, which include hot flashes, mood swings, and irregular periods. The more she learns, the more she realizes that maybe her experiences are, in fact, menopause transition-related.
The long-awaited night of the gala has finally arrived, and as Lily looks in the mirror, she feels a mix of excitement and nervousness. Although she’s eager to experience the evening's festivities, she hesitates at the thought of bundling herself up in a bulky sweater. Instead, she opts for her elegant iridescent midnight sequined tank top dress, feeling that it strikes the perfect balance between style and comfort.
“Not bad,” she thinks to herself, appreciating how the fabric hugs her figure just right.
Upon her arrival, the atmosphere buzzes with anticipation, filled with laughter and the soft sounds of holiday music. Lily scans the crowd, hoping to spot familiar faces among the attendees, but finds herself surrounded by strangers.
Undeterred, she takes a moment to soak in the festive decorations and the shimmering lights overhead. Her eyes catch the mistletoe hanging over the dance floor. Her attention is drawn to a table adorned with a beautifully crafted sign that reads “Mrs. Tutty’s Award-Winning Pie.” Intrigued, she approaches the table, curious to sample the renowned dessert that has earned so much acclaim.
As she places her hand on the pie plate, another hand slides in to grab it. Surprised, she looks up and sees Dr. Mitchell, his expression a mix of amusement and apology. She noticed that his hand was soft and warm.
“Excuse me, I was here first,” she says, trying to assert herself while suppressing a smile.
“By all means, Ms. Hampton, please go ahead,” he responds, a warm smile breaking across his face as he lets go of the plate. With a fluid gesture, he hands her a fork and invites her to enjoy the pie.
Just as she’s about to take her first bite, Mrs. Tutty approaches, interested in Lily’s reaction.
“Mrs. Tutty, what’s the secret ingredient that makes your pies taste so good?” Dr. Mitchell asks.
Mrs. Tutty smiles coyly and replies, “It’s not love; it’s floor.”
“So, that’s how you’re going to play it,” he says with an amused laugh, his eyes sparkling with relatable mischief. Even Lily couldn’t help but laugh at her reply.
As she takes a bite of the pie, her taste buds awaken to its rich flavors. He watches her intently. “What do you think?” he asks.
With a grin, she replies, “You’re right! This apple pie IS the best I’ve ever had. And, I feel better already.”
In a moment of delightful synchronization, they both exclaim, “It’s the cider!” Their voices blend together in harmony, adding to the sparkle between them.
After a brief pause, the doctor gestures toward the dance floor, his expression turning playful. “Would you like to dance… once you’re done enjoying your pie, of course?”
With enthusiasm lighting up her face, Lily responds, “Yes, I would love to.” The prospect of dancing with the handsome doctor fills her with anticipation, making the evening feel even more special.
THE END 💗
Roll the Credits
Special thanks to my hilarious, Hallmark movie-obsessed husband, who sat next to me on the couch and helped me craft this story. You should have seen his excitement!
Casting has begun, and I’m happy to report that the role of Big Al has been filled by horror movie comedic legend Bruce Campbell. He’s so good at killing zombies that I imagine he also makes a mean apple cider.
Be well, stay COOL…
P.S. If you received an email this morning saying it was Dec 24th and the last day of The Periprofessional holiday calendar, that was my email provider who screwed up. I apologize for their error.
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Thanks! Ohhhh... maybe next year will be part 2. Cliffhanger! My college friend is married to a doctor and she has the funniest stories (not patient stories, life with a doctor stories). Although, I may want to hear more about that best friend. She sounds pretty interesting.
Had hot chocolate yesterday! Treated myself while I had a few minutes running around.
Such a cute story!