Happy Little Perimenopause
Happy Little Perimenopause
The wisdom of Bob Ross to help get through the change
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“We Don’t Make Mistakes. We Have Happy Little Accidents.”
Everyone in the United States knows the name Bob Ross. He is a beloved pop culture icon who achieved legendary status by hosting the popular painting show “The Joy of Painting,” which aired on PBS from 1983 to 1994. These years were during the height of my teenage angst and young adulting.
The show featured him painting a landscape scene, starting with a blank canvas and working all the way to completion. It wasn't necessarily his art that captivated us, but rather his soothing voice, attitude about life, and wit and wisdom that made us want to sit down and watch him paint each week.
Personally, I think he invented ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) and mindfulness practices without realizing it. You couldn’t help but feel calm and relaxed while watching him paint. He made everything feel possible.
He filmed 403 episodes and filled our hearts with the desire to paint regardless of your experience level. He had that kind of effect on people, including me. I couldn't draw a stick figure even with an art school-trained watercolorist for a mother. Yet he inspired me to try.
Someone left this comment on YouTube “Bob Ross didn’t paint to show that he was a good painter, he painted to show how you could be a good painter.”
Sadly, Bob Ross passed away at 52 in 1995 from lymphoma, a type of cancer. I’m two years older than he was when he passed. Why do people from that era look so much older than we do now? Am I in denial?
Below is an episode from a later session. He sometimes had a squirrel in his pocket as he painted. I’m not making this up; a real squirrel. Peapod was a frequent guest on the show. Bob was a lover of nature and all creatures, but he had a special place in his heart for squirrels. Full disclosure: so do I. Ever since I watched Mark Rober’s squirrel challenge videos during the pandemic, I’ve been in love with them.
Bob’s signature phrase was “Happy little trees.” He was always painting happy little trees, even if they weren’t coming out the way he planned. Everything in his paintings came to life as he described them to us during the show. There were also happy little clouds and other happy little things in his paintings.
Seeing His Art in Person
Recently, I had the opportunity to visit the “Art for Everyone: Bob Ross” exhibit at a local museum. After he died, Bob’s art was put into storage, where it stayed for decades. No painting has ever been sold or exhibited (although there are now 4 paintings hanging in the Smithsonian). The museum’s curator took a chance and contacted the owners of Bob’s paintings to see if an exhibit was possible. Luckily, they said yes.
The first painting from the TV show is now valued at $9 million. In his lifetime, Bob painted over 30,000 paintings, 75 of which are exhibited at the museum. For each show, he painted three of the same landscapes - one he would use as an off-camera guide, a second he would paint live, and a third he would paint after the show.
Experiencing his art in person was an indescribable feeling. Watching this man paint his pictures week after week and become a part of my life, and seeing them in person made me feel so connected to him. It was truly awe-inspiring.
What Does Bob Ross Have to Do with Perimenopause?
Gosh, for a few minutes there, I forgot I was writing an article about perimenopause. I confused myself, thinking I was an art journalist. Being in the flow will do that to you, but that was kind of fun.
Perimenopause can suck the joy right out of you
Bob Ross is a national symbol of happiness and compassion, representing all that is good in the world. He is solid, dependable, and true to himself. Immersing myself in his world could have provided relief on my most challenging days. Like a good friend, Bob Ross is always there.
I went years during the pandemic and my early perimenopause experience in a negative state where I felt no joy, didn’t laugh, and lost my purpose in life. I felt like I was languishing and didn’t know what to do about it. I felt very alone, disconnected from myself, and lacking in enthusiasm.
I wish I had thought to watch Bob Ross because he would have been the friend I needed during this time to help me feel grounded and a part of something greater than myself. I was so mired down by everything I seriously couldn’t think straight and couldn’t think myself out of my predicament.
This should have been the first clue that I should have stepped back and looked at what I was going through differently.
There are many things that Bob Ross said while painting that I would’ve found helpful in my early perimenopause days especially because we were also going through the pandemic. A double whammy I don’t recommend.
“It’s Hard To See Things When You Are Too Close. Take a Step Back and Look.” - Bob Ross
Perimenopause can cause our vision to narrow as we laser in on symptoms, research, body parts, and how we're feeling at any given moment. This can easily cause a feeling of overwhelm and force us into survival mode.
Remember to step back and away from time to time so that you can broaden your day-to-day experiences and vision for a clearer picture. There is more to life than perimenopause, but it’s easy to forget when you’re weighed down by it.
Bringing back beauty in my life would have made a big difference in my ability to see the bigger picture. Bob Ross could have shown me lovely little things.
“We Don’t Make Mistakes. We Have Happy Little Accidents.” - Bob Ross
I know it feels like your body is betraying you during perimenopause, but in reality, it’s working very hard to keep you balanced. There are so many changes going on simultaneously that your body has to adapt to and compensate for.
It’s not a mistake that we go through perimenopause and menopause. It’s a process that helps us prepare for the next phase of our lives.
“This is a bravery test.” - Bob Ross
This quote refers to when he decided to paint a large tree into a painting that was almost finished. “This is your bravery test. You worked so hard and then a crazy-haired guy tells you to throw in a big ol’ tree on top of it all.”
Perimenopause is very much like a test of bravery. It may challenge you in ways that you never thought possible and may scare you. The only way through it is to face it head-on. We can't buy our way out of menopause; we just have to get through it.
“That’s Good Enough. Isn’t That Fun?” - Bob Ross
Perimenopause can make us feel sheltered. Who wants to go out of the house when they look and feel like a walking disaster? Who wants to connect with friends when we aren’t up for socializing? When we stop reaching out and getting out, this can have a detrimental effect on our mental health and, ultimately, our bodies.
Before the pandemic, I would have thought that statement was nuts. Now, I know differently because I experienced the negative effects of isolating myself for too long. It's not good.
Bob could have helped me reconnect with nature and made me feel connected to myself again. His gentle and soothing personality would have been a relief for my frazzled nervous system after being cooped up for so long and dealing with overwhelming symptoms.
His sweet, little pet squirrel, Peapod, would have brought me joy.
“It’s Your World, and You Make All Of The Decisions. You Can Do Anything!” - Bob Ross
As we age, we forget to experience awe. Awe is an incredibly powerful emotion that we frequently overlook. It's that feeling of amazement and wonder that fills us when we experience something powerful.
Just picture standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon, watching fireworks, or witnessing your child walk up to receive their diploma. Awe may give us chills, goosebumps, or cause the hair on our arms to stand up.
Something as readily available as music and art can also give us awe. There have been recent studies describing the list of benefits of triggering awe, and it’s been shown that it can help us get through tough times. For an excellent book on awe, I recommend Awe by Dacher Keltner.
When the feeling of awe strucks me now, I allow and appreciate the feeling. With awe always comes gratitude for me, another powerful emotion.
Self-Compassion Goes A Long Way in Perimenopause
Although the show wasn’t called “The Joy of Perimenopause,” Bob can teach us a lot about practicing self-compassion, curiosity, and staying judgment-free. His open heart and love for the world are good influences on me.
If we get to perimenopause and haven’t yet learned how to show ourselves compassion, this will be an excellent time to learn how to show yourself some grace. Many of us have never had to deal with a challenging health issue of this magnitude before, and when so many things are unrecognizable in our bodies all at once, we may lean towards hating ourselves.
Perimenopause is a biological process, it doesn’t define our self-worth.
Our perspective and attitude about ourselves matter more than ever. We simply can’t get away with the behaviors and attitudes that we could do before. Our buckets are overflowing, and we just don’t have the capacity for energy-draining mental games any longer.
I hope you’ve gained an appreciation for an amazing man who lived his life purposefully and gave so much to the people and critters in his life. He had been a constant figure in the background of my life, but it wasn’t until recently that I learned how truly special he was.
To sum it up, someone posted on YouTube, “Bob Ross believes in me more than my family does.”
If you enjoyed this article and want to let me know or want to share your stories of watching Bob Ross, please consider leaving a comment.
Be well, stay cool….
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If you’ve scrolled this far down, you deserve a treat! Here are some more pearls of wisdom from Bob Ross:
“All it takes is just a little change of perspective and you begin to see a whole new world.”
“That’s when you experience joy - when you have no fear.”
“Every single thing in the world has its own personality, and it is up to you to make friends with the little rascals.”
“These things live right in your brush, all you have to do is shake them out.”
“We spend so much of our life looking but never seeing.”
“You can do anything here - the only prerequisite is that it makes you happy.”
“We have no limits in our world. We’re only limited by our imagination.”
“There is immense joy in just watching all the little creatures in nature.”
“Isn’t it great to do something you can’t fail at?”
“If what you’re doing doesn’t make you happy, you’re doing the wrong thing.”
“If it’s not what you want, stop and change it. Don’t just keep going and expect it will get better.”
“Don’t be afraid to scrape the paint off and do it again. This is the way you learn: trial and error, over and over, repetition.”
“We each see the world in our own way. That’s what makes it such a special place.”
"Perimenopause can cause our vision to narrow as we laser in on symptoms, research, body parts, and how we're feeling at any given moment. This can easily cause a feeling of overwhelm and force us into survival mode."
100%!
I love Bob Ross. I remember sitting with my grandmother watching Bob Ross and thinking, "This guy is amazing. In one show he can paint a masterpiece."
And yet, within our own body's a masterpiece is also already painted.
As this old car continues to start, I am thankful and yet look forward to letting the old model go for the new model.
As I kept zero-ing in on my perimenopausal symptoms, facing the feelings of betrayal, learning to lean into it rather than try to avoid it- then out of nowhere the largest natural disaster of my entire existance hit the most unlikeliest of places, the NC mountains.
Helene has caused me to place my peri symptoms somewhere else for the time being. I have a period tracker, I journal "my monthly cycle days". Now, my journal header starts with the date, what day I am on in my cycle followed by the day we are on in the aftermath of Helene.
God has given me strength beyond what my monthly cycle provides. I have stepped back as Bob Ross says to do. I am seeing a bigger picture. One in which I do even when it is not my season to do, yet I hold boundaries as I have learned in my practice and rest when I know it is more beneficial in the long run to rest than to push. If I rest when needed, then I will have more to give later.
Sometimes it seems in the moment of peri to take that step back and zoom out is impossible and other times something greater than our own ability to do so provides that new perspective.
Shelby, you continue to provide such beautiful thought provoking articles. Thank you for finding and reminding us all to find the silver linings in our changing life seasons.
May you see "happy little clouds" today.
“I know it feels like your body is betraying you during perimenopause, but in reality, it’s working very hard to keep you balanced. There are so many changes going on simultaneously that your body has to adapt to and compensate for.”
Every time I find myself in the ‘betrayal’ mindset I try to remember how hard my body is working to remain balanced during this time and my heart shifts from anger and sadness to gratitude.
It really is amazing, though, how hard it’s working. I’ve noticed that ovulation symptoms begin 5 days before the actual LH surge now, for example - it feels akin to trying to get an old car to start. I took for granted how easy and simple these processes were when I was younger.
PS - love Bob Ross forever.